Long way down
Raindrops on my face telling me i should leave
One step left is all i trough
One step and then the pain is over
Teardrops from my eyes saying there’s nothing left to do
Not far from the edge, I hear her cry
Turn around to find a girl in white
asking me to think trough all this
the girl whispers in the softest whose “It dost seem that way right now but there is someone who loves you, someone needs you, there is someone who cant live without you” i didn’t understand what she meant
“no one loves me, no one need me and sure in hell everyone can live without me”
she was all of a suddenly just 2 inches from me when she said “close your eyes”
i did what she said and i saw my mom cry her eyes out, My dad try to hold his tears back but he failed cuz i could se one after one slip out from his eyes, My brother hold a photo of me in his hands and all dressed in black
i heard a voice so i turned around seeing a beautiful blonde in a short black dress “I remember her smile, i remember her laugh but i don’t remember her tears cuz them was never there, she was so happy but i knew it was fake. i knew her so well, I have never meat a girl like her, she cared about everyone and even the once who she didn’t know, she putted everyone in front of her self and she was a damn good actress.. no one saw it, she fooled them all. But newer me, i knew something was wrong and i tried to get her to talk but i couldn’t make her. Now its to late and i will never forget all fun we had, all the great times, all the bad times but most of all I will never forget her” she was in tears now and all I wanted was to do was walking up to her and hold her tight in my arms and make everything go rite but when I tried to walk over I couldn’t reach her, I yell her name but she didn’t hear
“She don’t hear, no one dose” The little girl in white was back as she took my hand “Look there” she pointed to a big picture of me with flowers around which I hadn’t seen before
“I’m dead?”
“Your loved” the little girl said “look around, can u se anyone smile?”
“no but”
She didn’t say anything she just dragged me away into another room, Where I saw my little brother sniff white powder
“No Joey don’t” I try to talk to him “I’m still dead aren’t I ?” I looked at the little girl
“He changed after your death and your parents divorce”
“Divorce?”
“Losing you was a big lost and them couldn’t keep it together, your dad started to take the bottle while your mom cried her self to sleep every night”
I felt guilt growing within the dead me, the girl try to take me with her as she was going to leave
“No I don’t want to se what I done to my parents” I said making the girl look at me
“It don’t have to be like this”
“No?”
“Come” she said so I follow her into a new room where I saw this little girl in white laughing in a older girls arms “that’s your twin?” she was dressed in a pink dress but looked exactly like the girl in white “That’s the someone who cant live without you” the older girl put the little girl down “Happy birthday my two favourite girls” a man come into the room making the woman turn around
“that’s me” i saw a older version of me kissing a brown haired man
“Could be” the young girl said
“Mammy, Mammy” the little girl in pink said “yes the worlds cutest 5 years old” the woman turn around smiling and sit down “daddy, daddy have a surprise”
i was in chook “Im your, I mean hers mom?”
“U could be its all up to you”
I saw how the woman who could be me pick her daughter up “He dose?” she smiled “yes, yes, yes” she clapped her hands “and what can that be?” The dad walk out and then right in again with a puppy in his hands “what did I say about a puppy?” she look hard at him “But I wanted” the girl smiled “I know hun but” “But what? What’s so bad having a dog? Look at him, he’s so cute. How can u say no to this face” “I cant! “ she signed “ but I’m 5 month pregnant, who will take care of him?”
I was ones again choked was I really a mom and then waited my second child?
“we will” my daughter said happily “I don’t know” “Cassie listen!” i coulden´t belive this was really me “I will take care of him, I walk him, I feed him. I will do everything with him” the man smiled “No u wont but fine, how can I say no to that face” she reached out to the dog “I love you” the man leaned in and with the puppy in his arm and our daughter in my arms he kissed me “i love you to ” I was lost in this beautiful scene when I heard the girl next to me voices “Remember after bad things comes good things, it will get better when the bad times have passed by… always! I hope u do the right chose, ” the young girl started to fade away as the scene of the happy beautiful family
“will I remember?” I askt
“no” she answered as she faded away, she was gone now and I stood in the dark when I heard her voice again “close your eyes then open them again” I did what her voice told me even that I couldn’t se her
I was back at the edge looking down at the water beneath me “that’s a long way down” I whispered al of a suddenly scared
“what’s wrong with me? I waited so long” all of a suddenly I wanted to turn around and all my wanting to disappear was gone
“After bad things comes good things, it will get better when the bad times have passed by, always”
I didn’t know what suddenly changed my mind but something was changed
“it will get better” I said as I left the edge and walked away “one day everything will be fine, I know that”
